Getting older, though. There’s no stopping it. And no quick fixes when you stall out.
I’m feeling it, you guys. I’m feeling the whole aging business a lot, particularly this week. As if throwing out my back on the last day of our cottage vacation wasn’t enough (doing my daily workout, thankyouverymuch), my mom’s birthday came and went — she would have been 68 — and then my eldest had to go and turn 13 and ALL THE TEARS. And the exhaustion. Man, getting older is tiring business.
Here’s the Dealio
I have been working hard on myself over the past year and I’ve been rewarded with a fitter, healthier ME. But the fact is, I’m still getting older and the body and mind — complex structures that they are — don’t always respond how I’d like. Plus, despite all the positive changes I’ve made in order to be more physically active and sharp, to be a good role model for my family, I still have a lot of not-so-super-fantastic habits that are contributing to my feeling achy, tired and disorganized.
As women, we joke about multitasking. We throw around concepts like ‘work-life balance’ and ‘chasing dreams’ and ‘having it all’ like, sure, no problem. But I feel like in an effort to ‘do it all’ there are certain sacrifices and I’m feeling weighed down both physically and emotionally. Or maybe I’m just doing it all wrong.
Where’s the Zen?
I keep thinking: I’ve got this. I am passionate about my work. I’m spending time with my kids. I am all over this health and wellness thing. After all, I have a wonderful Naturopath and an awesome Chiropractor, both of whom I visit on a regular basis for a tune-up and maintenance. I eat relatively well (ahem, Starburst addiction) and drink lots of water and take my vitamins and supplements. I do my daily HIIT workouts plus average over 10,000 steps a day. I’m doing work that I love and which enables me to be home all summer with my family. My husband is my rock. I should be totally zen.
Instead, I am so very tired. At some point I turned into a night owl and THIS, you guys, is taking its toll on me. Because NEWSFLASH — I’m not in my 20s anymore. This body is all, Lady, WTF? And my brain is all, Bahaha! Oh, you want me to FUNCTION today? And my husband is all, Have you seen my wife?
Time to Hit the Reset Button
It’s a vicious cycle which, once upon my youth, was more manageable. Now, however, it takes me longer to get going in the morning, my day is spent hopping back and forth between my office and kid stuff — neither receiving my undivided attention — and I’m tired. Inevitably, I get my second wind after the kids go to bed and stay up too late, working. My husband brushes a kiss across my forehead as he says good night. Cue cycle. This can’t possibly be what work-life balance is supposed to look like. Who could possibly sustain this over the long term?
Last week we had a glorious (yes — glorious) time at the cottage we rented. Days were spent (mostly) unplugged, sandy beach, s’mores, family movies, long walks, reading, early bedtimes. This. THIS is what life is all about. And while I know I can’t live in vacationland all year-round, the fact that I stumbled back into my sleep-deprived routine within a day of being back tells me that I need to hit the reset button in a serious way.
Getting Older, Not Wiser
As I read through what I’ve just written, I’m shaking my head, wondering How did this happen? I thought with age came wisdom yet I’m sabotaging all the positive things in my life with this very bad habit. I certainly have the tools and the resources to make those wise decisions; those health-conscious choices. However, when it comes to sleep I seem incapable of getting my shit together, even though I know better.
So here I sit, bleary-eyed, looking for my next caffeine fix and wondering what I need to do to break the cycle. Ironically, the thought of changing what has become such a routine leaves me feeling a little anxious. However, I love feeling youthful(ish) and energetic. I love playing with my kids and going for long runs and catching up on the day with my husband. I’m not ready to give in to getting older. Time is fleeting, but, God willing, I have a lot of good years left on this planet and I want to make sure I live every single one to the fullest.