An imperfect Mother's Day means you're doing it right.
Family,  Parenting

An imperfect Mother’s Day means you’re doing it right

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Today is Mother’s Day and I’m feeling all the feelings. While I am relishing the quiet that has blanketed the house, I’m feeling torn. Hardly ad-worthy or picture-perfect, I’ve come to realize this imperfect Mother’s Day is the perfect reminder that I’m doing it right.

Sometimes having an "imperfect Mother's Day" means you're doing it right.

Kids and Things

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a mother with multiple children, it’s like a daily game of “Who’s My Favourite?” Or, at least, that’s what the kids think when you find yourself having to choose between them. And when I say them, I am, of course, referring to their assorted activities and sports and things. Because I love my kids all equally, obviously.

Last night my husband asked what the plan was for today. My 9-year son was having his first double-header of the season and the question was: who’s going? Instinctively, I said I wanted to go. However, there were more logistics than normal to consider, Mother’s Day notwithstanding. (P.S. Dear Baseball Organizers, REALLY, THOUGH?)

Imperfect Mother’s Day Mom Guilt

While I had every intention of going, mom brain took over. I fell asleep last night with my brain buzzing.

In the first place, our van was deemed “unsafe to drive” this week, so taking it on the highway is a big NOPE. Therefore, we are down to one vehicle and with the field 45 mins away so, if we went, we would be there all day. You guys: All. Day.

Second, my teen daughter is dealing with symptoms of a mild concussion, so she isn’t going anywhere near a ball field, in bright sunlight. She’s okay’ish, but I wouldn’t feel right being so far away. See how choosing between kids happens?

Third, I kind of wanted a bit of leisurely time to myself to sit. Write. Drink coffee (which, by the way is only my second one this week, but that’s another story). Go for a walk. On my already imperfect Mother’s Day, I think I’m entitled.

Last of all, I just got my period. And who wants to be stuck at a ball field all day on the first day of their period? On mother-freaking Mother’s Day. Mmmm…nope.

As it happened, I “slept in” till a little past 8:00 this morning and awoke to the realization that the decision had been made for me. Initially, I was miffed my husband and son had left without waking me. I felt guilty for not going. But I realized my husband had actually done me a favour.

Being the parents of four kids means sacrificing time with one or the other of your kids for the others, once in a while. It means my husband and I often divide and conquer. Our days are filled with mad chaos. We are constantly rushing around. It is noisy. However, it also means a houseful of love and always having someone in your corner. It means endless hugs, butterfly kisses, secret handshakes, and I love yous. Over here, there’s never a dull moment.

Perfection is Overrated

Though this isn’t how I envisioned my day, it’s actually working out wonderfully. The younger two kids are outside playing. I’m getting a bit of “me” time. My eldest is resting. If an imperfect Mother’s Day means feeling relaxed and grateful, then this is where it’s at.

Earlier, my 9-year old daughter was lamenting not being able to bring me breakfast in bed this morning. This child feels things so deeply and the sentiment was so sweet. I explained that I was truly enjoying my regular routine; that it made me happy to have my hot lemon water, then my smoothie.

“Can I have a smoothie?” she asked.

“You bet,” I said. And I made one for her and her brother. They asked if they could give me their Mother’s Day gifts and I suggested they wait until we are all together. Then, off they went, leaving their dirty glasses on the counter. Because kids, eh?

The teen is finally stirring, at half-past-noon (though she insists she’s been awake since 9:00). I just got a text from my husband saying our team won their first game. Thoughts of my own mother are looming — I miss her today more than usual. This seems like the perfect time to head out for a walk and clear my head.

I will be inundated with homemade cards later, the kind that guarantee tears. And if any of you are familiar with my husband’s cooking, I assure you there is an epic feast awaiting me later. There may have been mention of lobster and scallops. To be honest, this imperfect Mother’s Day is looking more and more perfect.

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Erica writes with humour and heart about family, #fit40s and living life in the carpool lane. Part-time banker by day and Netflix-addicted-cake-decorator by night, Erica's in-between time is spent dreaming up ways to ruin her kids' lives. Obviously.

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