Fun,  Lifestyle,  Self Care

This is no mid-life crisis. This is 43.

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If turning 43 means drinking a coffee too late in the afternoon the day before your birthday and then, despite being dead tired, staring at the ceiling until nearly 2:30am while pondering ways to silence your snoring husband and then NOT being able to sleep in the next morning, then: NAILED IT.

This is 43. This is no mid-life crisis. This is laugh lines, pimples, chin hairs and stronger than ever.

But there’s a whole lot more to being a woman of a certain age. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as I perch precariously on the cusp of what I hope is mid-life, it’s that pretty much all rules get tossed out the window once you hit your 40s. Clothes, fashion and lifestyle choices are completely subjective despite what every Tom, Dick and Jane would have you believe.

Mid-Life Rules: There Are None

If you scrolled down expecting a list declaring How-to-behave when you’re in your 40s, you’re on the wrong page. At this stage in my life, beyond the usual societal norms, I’m over the ‘rules’.

I’m stronger and faster and more confident in my skin today than I was in my twenties.

I’m not into drama but I am into champagne.

You won’t catch me cutting my hair into a bob just because once upon a time long hair was considered a no-no on ‘older women’. Pfft. 

You will, however, catch me rocking skinny jeans and tall boots.

Selfies are perfectly acceptable. Sweaty selfies are even better.

There will be grey hairs, chin hairs, and hairs in places you never knew existed. That’s why God invented tweezers and hair dye; both to be used sparingly and wisely.

I stand my ground and say ‘no’ respectfully, but unapologetically.

I will totally wear a bikini and, guess what? Nobody cares.

You won’t catch me running a marathon, but you will catch me huffing and puffing my way through a 10K.

My love is strong, my loyalty is fierce, my determination knows no bounds and my stubbornness is endearing.

I don’t bake for just anyone and I eat the cake.

I drink coffee and wine and also lemon water and green smoothies.

Pimples will be popped.

I may run like Phoebe, dance like Elaine and sing like Grace but always with a smile on my face.

When negativity threatens to bring me down, I rise above. One of my mom’s life lessons was to be gracious. 2017 translation: haters gonna hate. F**k ’em.

I love to be told I’m funny because a life without humour and laughter has got to be utterly boring.

Only 40-Odd Years To Go

I’m five years away from the age my mom was when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. What should have been her mid-life turned out to be the end. It is this quiet countdown that drives me to pursue my passion of writing, to try new things, to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. I don’t know how many years I have left here, but each one is a blessing and a reminder that we need to live in the moment, creaky joints, wrinkles and all.

Imagine if we could all do that?

This is 43. This is no mid-life crisis. This is laugh lines, creaky joints and eating the cake.

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Erica writes with humour and heart about family, #fit40s and living life in the carpool lane. Part-time banker by day and Netflix-addicted-cake-decorator by night, Erica's in-between time is spent dreaming up ways to ruin her kids' lives. Obviously.


  • Sara Vartanian

    Happy birthday, Erica! I, too, feel quietly chased by the date when my mom was first diagnosed with cancer (47), she did live until 56 (still so young) and it pushes me to take leaps I wouldn’t otherwise! I’m with you on pursuing a life well lived. XO

    • Erica

      That struggle between living in the moment and being overwhelmed with thoughts of mortality. My mom died at 50 and it’s a constant numbers game in the back of mind. Also a great reminder to live in appreciation of every day.

  • Drangonfly

    HA! LOVE THIS POST! you just described my 43s too! I give you a spoiler.. when you get to 46.. then you may be the one snoring UGH LOL! and my hair is VERY LONG no bobs for me either. Thank you very much!
    I would also report that…
    Sorry not I’m stronger and faster than when I was in my twenties but working on remedying that .
    hum… depend what kinda drama. some are fun 😛 wine and tequila, please.
    Yes skinny jeans and tall boots! Is there another way to dress???
    very very few grey hairs. Good genetic to blame 🙂
    I stand my ground and say ‘no’ a little bitchy most of the time 😉
    No bikini for me, YET
    I’m allergic to running but I can tolerate the gym and yoga
    I don’t bake. Can’t follow instructions
    coffee, YES! wine HELL YEAH!

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