For the most part I feel like I’ve got this ‘adulting’ thing down pat. Lately, however, I’ve been all over the place. I wish that meant, literally, traveling, but, alas, I’m referring to the feeling of being spread thinner than almond butter on warm, gluten-free toast.
And it’s a repeating cycle.
Since Christmas I’ve lost my mojo. I’m not feeling myself. Relationships with friends seem strained. We’ve taken some big financial hits over the past couple of months. Stress, combined with my horrible sleep patterns, means late nights are leading to groggy mornings. My back has been bothering me on and off, so, aside aside from my daily walks in the great outdoors, I’ve been neglecting my sweaty workouts and many of my healthy routines. All in the name of: “I don’t have time.”
“I don’t have time to have my lemon water.”
“I don’t have time to make my decaf coffee.”
“I don’t have time to make a green smoothie.”
“I don’t have time to workout or go for a run.”
“I don’t have time to read a book.”
Which is B.S. And it shows.
It shows in my work. It shows in the bags under my eyes. It shows in my husband’s look of resignation when he sees me hunker down in my office for hours on end. It shows in my lack of patience. It shows in my late night snacking. It shows in my crankiness. It shows in my reflection.
I’m not myself.
Time to Take Back Control
You see, the great thing about being a grown-up is that you get to do grown-up things like drink coffee whenever you like, drive a car, stay up late watching Game of Thrones. And10 while there are perks, adulting is hard, you guys. Being an adult is by no means a free pass on life.
Being an adult means having a job, taking on household responsibilities, keeping kids fed, watered, and alive, making tough decisions, and even doing things you don’t want to do. You’d think by age 45 I’d have this thing figured out but, instead, I feel like I’m living in a perpetual state of trial and error, whether it’s related to work, parenting or relationships. I mean, do any of us really know what we’re doing 100% of the time?
Sometimes just getting through a day is like a game of piñata-roulette. One properly-timed wallop and it’s game over: the shit doth spilleth over. I mean just once I would love to make it through dinner without snapping like a twig after reminding my children, for what-seems-like the bazillionth time, to please take your elbows off the table.
In a quest to get my mojo back, here I am, re-evaluating the necessities in life — the things that matter. And no, the irony is not lost on me that I’m doing this at nearly midnight after a five-day marathon of trying to get my website up-and-running again. But, do you know what I keep coming back to? The number one thing calling to me is happiness. Mental clarity, calm, joy beat out things like new clothes, a trip, or a dinner out.
So, I’m taking baby steps to decluttering my mental space as well as my physical space. I also took a midlife redesign workshop with my friend, Sara and whoa! The experience opened up my thinking space and really dug deep into where I want to be and what I want to be doing.
A few habits I have begun implementing to help improve my mental prowess and overall coping strategies are: journalling about three times a week; getting in at least 10,000 steps a day (walking does the back some good), reading — yes, actual BOOKS — I joined a book club which is forcing me to get back to one of the things I love to do most.
I also am back to drinking copious amounts of water (mandate to hydrate!) and skipping alcohol during the week; reaching out to friends AND family; even if it’s just a quick text or chat, settling down the evening with a cup of tea and a light snack (I can’t give up my snacks completely — not yet!) Plus, I challenged myself to write every day this month; I’m a little late out of the gate but I’m committed to doing it.
But, perhaps the biggest realization of all: sometimes you just have to give zero f*cks and get on with it. Am I right?
So tell me: what keeps YOU going these days? Drop your best how-to-win-at-adulting tips in the comments below.